- Work life balance is an action verb- not a destination. Sometimes my thinking is off in that I aspire to get to a better work/life balance- but I approach it as more of a journey. More time with family and friends, more time doing things I love , more time hanging out - not feeling pressured to do something, more time reading the books in my "to read" basket, More time decorating, etc, etc. What I realized over the last 10 days (as my life was turned topsy turvy), is that I will never get to the proverbial ideal state of balance. I must look at balance literally not figuratively. Balance is what you do - not where you get. Every action I take, every project I start, every trip I take is adding weight to one side of my "scale" . I must treat my balance objectives as if I'm standing in the middle of a seesaw and literally balancing . I must be strong enough withhold the weight of each side and I must constantly monitor what is on each side so that I don't get out of balance. I must constantly (daily) check my calendar to ensure that I am spending the right time in the right places. I must constantly evaluate previous weeks and adjust future weeks in order to stay in balance.
- I am fearless - except when it comes to surgery. I am not afraid of many things...but for some reason this surgery is freaking me out. My doctor added to my fear. I called him last week - almost ready to chicken out. He says he is more afraid of what will happen if I don't get the surgery. He said my tendon could possibly become completely detached. He also said I will experience some level of muscle atrophy and I should look to be walking in 10 days- with crutches. I have never been sick or hospitalized so I'm a little afraid of being down. I am really afraid of gaining weight after the surgery. I'm trying to think positive about this but I'm not quite in the right state of mind.
- If you set a 30 day challenge for your friends, you need to stick to it yourself. I don't know what is going on but I'm afraid I've been teetering on falling off the wagon. I don't know what it is but my workouts have been really weak. I've had some really great days and a few not so great days. Since speaking my doctor I've been a little afraid about working out too much. Plus - my knees have been hurting - perhaps this is psychosomatic? Maybe I'm bringing it on. My nutrition has been a little on the brink -- inconsistent. Some days were great - some days I had too many carbs -- bread + pasta.
I have to get my mind right -- because I don't want this surgery to be the event that leads to a me gaining the weight back. I want to look at this and be proud that I didn't allow surgery and recovery to impact my resolve. I want to return to triathlons next year faster and stronger. I need to work on my mind game ...I'm not there yet.