What is this all about?

I started this blog to keep me accountable in my fitness and clean eating journey. My first post was in March of 2007 and I've been posting ever since. As you will see I've had many highs and lows...but this is all about the journey...not just the destination

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Update on the pool incident

So this post is a long time coming. I've been in such a weird place about this situation, but I am finally ready to open up about it .

The Letter and Meeting 1

A few days after the incident, I wrote a letter to the president of the club- stating the facts. The president called me to set up a meeting. As it turned out , the entire event had been videotaped. Knowing this, gave me relief. Relief that my account would not be a he said she said situation. Relief that the video could do some of the talking for me. Hubby went with me, thankfully. I was afraid I might get emotional and plus it was good to have support. To my surprise the meeting was very good. They were very humble and seemed very concerned . We reviewed the video tape and everything was pretty evident (to me). We asked about what policies were in place to prevent inappropriate incidents like this from happening. They said they didn't have any because nothing like this had ever happened. They said they would check HR policies , evaluate the situation and get back to us in a few days. As upset as I was, I actually felt good about the meeting. I felt comfortable, given the videotaped account, they would take immediate action.

The 2nd meeting:
The second meeting was set up to inform us of their decision. The meeting was basically their chance to tell me that they spoke to him and he was very distraught about the entire situation. They then began to describe several what if scenarios to determine if my reactions would have been different. Like" what if he asked you if you were uncomfortable?" . They also asked if he said anything inappropriate . As they were asking me these questions, my confidence started to wane. I started to feel like they were definitely taking sides. They then said that the bottom line was that they thought the incident was an accident and that they were sorry that I felt uncomfortable. They thought his method was appropriate and he was a long time employee with no prior complaints of this nature. I got up and said the meeting was over and I needed to leave. I was so angry that they were taking his side that I could not stay in the room any longer.

The official reply
A few days later I received an official letter stating not that it was an accident (as they told me at the in person meeting). This letter stated that after reviewing the tapes , they said it is inconclusive. They cannot prove or disprove what I said. They are taking precautions like adding training and creating a policy to prevent this type of incident (accidental inappropriate touching) from happening in the future.

The Impact on me:
I feel happy that I said something. Happy that others won't go through this again at this place. Happy that there is now a policy and happy that the policy describes punitive action for violators. However I am not quite settled about it. I am still angry that it happened to me. I'm angry because this little "accident" as it was called, has had a major impact on me, Emotionally and Physically. Emotionally - I have not resumed my regular pre incident workouts (my weekly brick workouts, swimming, etc). I have been very distracted by the whole thing - in a very bad way. The physical impact is that I have not been able to go into back to the gym since it all happened. I have not been swimming, nor have I been working out as hard. I'm just not as disciplined when working out at home. I've gotten good workouts in but they haven't been as intense as what I would have done at the gym. Further it is far easier to be distracted at home so my workouts tend to be shorter. I am also someone who tends to be an emotional eater ...so I've not been as disciplined. I know this should not have impacted me in this way ..but the bottom line is it has. Inside of me I want to fight against this and not let anything interrupt my fitness goals or my weight loss success. I am doing ok but I feel very vulnerable.

Next steps:
I am still evaluating what to do next. There are several options depending on how far I want to take this. At the end of the day I just want life to return to normal. My normal workouts, my normal schedule, my normal comfortable feeling at one of my favorite places..the gym. One thing I know for sure... I don't feel comfortable there. I don't want to see him or his wife (who also works there) and I certainly don't believe I should financially support a place that doesn't support me.

One day very soon, I will look back on this experience and look at how I've grown from it. I'm hoping that it will help me not rely on the gym ...and figure out how to get my workout on my own. I will also be able to look back and feel that I am emotionally stronger because of this. I am really looking forward to that day.

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About Me

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West Coast, United States
I am a christian woman, wife, mom to 2 great kids, a member of Delta Sigma Theta, A Jack and Jill mom, sister, daughter . I am also incredibly fit but wasn't always. I am a recovering fat girl - who takes it one day at a time.

Alonda the Triathlete!

Alonda the Triathlete!

The backstory-----How did I become a triathlete...

In February 2006, I went on a ski trip with my new colleagues from work. On the way back, I sat next to a girl named Wendy - a really friendly woman who talked about her experience as a newcomer to Seattle. She told me how her main source of making friends was through her workout buddies. She also mentioned that many of her friends participate in triathlons and that (get this) I should consider doing one too. I thought she might have been delirious from all of the skiing. I assured her that I was not the one. She obviously had mistaken me for someone else. Perhap my heavy coat prevented her from seeing what was underneath (50 lbs of extra weight and lots of evidence of no exercise). She continued with this crazy talk, speaking of how fun it is and how supportive the Danskin Triathlon is. I wanted to be sure that she and I were thinking of the same thing... Triathlon (swim bike run -some huge number of miles -all on the same day right after each other). Yup this was it. I chuckled and told her to have fun.
A few weeks later at the office, she mentioned it again. Now at this time, I had been contemplating joining my company sponsored health club (PROCLUB) and in particular the weight loss program called 20/20. After all, I had really packed on the pounds. I arrived in WA 50lbs overweight and pretty unhappy with myself. I actually started to think that completing triathlon would be a good goal...impossible but a good goal. I decided to go for it. At the same time I also decided to join the weight loss program. My first meeting with my trainer ..Anthony Parker was on 3/14/06. I told him ..in all of my fatness, that I wanted to do a triathlon. He looked at me and said hmmm, ok.
I began this really intense workout and nutrition program and began building my endurance. My first meetings with Anthony consisted of walking on the treadmill for 20 minutes and then doing stairclimber or eliptical for 15 minutes. Followed by a bit of strength training. I did this 3x a week (between 6am and 7:30) and then worked out on my own 2 other days. I had absolutely no endurance and could not run for more than 1 minute. Over the months, my endurance grew ..slowly at first then more rapidly. I also figured that I needed to improve my swimming skills if I was going to swim for 1/2 a mile. I took a Total Immersion Class.. which teaches swimming efficiency. Let's set the record straight here... I could swim well enough to save myself if I was thrown off of a boat. I was a decent (not great) swimmer. At the start of the class, I could do 1 (that's right ONE) lap and then I started breathing heavy. At that point I new the triathlon was totally out of reach. After all 1/2 mile was equal to 20 laps. I left the 1st day of class feeling scared and dismayed that I was too aggressive. Maybe I should have set my goal for 2007.
The next week's class, I asked the teacher what I needed to do to build my endurance. He said just keep at it, it will come. You know what, it did. Each week I got better and better. 4 weeks later I was able to swim 9 laps. I then started swimming before my workouts with my trainer (a little crazy but hey). My trainer was pretty impressed. I also started biking on the weekends. In fact in May I did a 30 mile bike ride as a part of the Tour De Cure for Diabetes. I really love biking...:)
Ok so I still had not tackled the most difficult part, the running. Not only could I not run but I absolutely hated it. I started adding running to my treadmill work. Anthony suggested intervals. We started with 2min run 2 min walk . I did this for weeks extending the time and the speed. I was up to running at 5.5 and walking at 4.0. Then Anthony said ..let's see if you can run a mile. I thought he was kidding. I did not think I was ready for that. This was May 5th (a day after my birthday). Guess what I did it. And I didn't feel like I was going to die. I was on top of the world. All day I had a little extra spring in my step. I just kept replaying in my head the "goal attained" message on the treadmill. I just could not believe it.
I kept it up, continued working out 5x a week. I took another swim class "Triathlon Swim Training" to help even more. This class was filled with drills and specific swim workouts. I really saw progress. By the end of the class, I was able to swim 28 laps. Now the challenge was to swim in Open Water. That's right. The triathlon was going to be in Lake Washington.
I finally felt like I could really do it. I didn't have a specific time goal , my goal was to finish. The week before the race I was sooo nervous. I was doing mini triathlons with a few really good girls. I kept up with them during the swim but one bike ride was particularly hilly and....they left me in the dust. I felt so bad and really began to rethink whether or not I should do the race. I spoke to one of the girsl about my bike performance , and she said that my bike was holding me back. That day, I decided to retire my 35lb mountain bike for a 19 lb feather light road bike. Boy what a differnce. This was a risky thing to do so close to the race but it worked for me.
The other thing to mention is that I met up with a wonderful group of women called the Soul Sistas. They are a group of African American Women of all ages who participate in triathlons and bike races. They are so awesome.We (the soul sistas) took pictures the day before the race... I'll post when available.
So the day of the race..... Everybody in the house is excited and up. My kids and my nieces - who were visiting from NJ are all up and ready to root me on. I left early so that I could get ready.The goal was to meet me by the swim finish. This was alll pretty tricky because there were 40 waves of swimmers starting every 3 minutes. All I can say about the swim is that it felt much longer than 1/2 a mile. I kept focused and didn't get nervous. I focused on keeping my breathing relaxed. It worked ...and by the way I wasn't the last swimmer in my group YEAHHH. I don't know how it all worked out but as soon as I finished my swim, I saw them. Byron , Tyler, Paris, Ahlia and Ivy were all waiting there for me with the most beautiful handmade signs saying GO MOMMY, Go AUNTIE, I love you. It was so terrific. Once I saw them I was energized.... Now on to the bike.
The bike was the best part of the entire race. I love my bike and I love to fly down the road. The entire 14 miles of the race was closed to traffic. Our longest stretch was on the express lane of one of the largest highways. Imagine flying down a highway with nothing in your way (but other riders on your right). It was so amazing. I was going pretty fast but could have gone faster - but wanted to save my legs for the run.
Now the run... I hate running and I am really bad at it. I am slow and not terribly efficient. After biking hard for 40 minutes, your legs are really worked up. During the after bike run, your legs turn into "bricks". They are heavy and hard to move. If you push through , you can get over the feeling and get into a stride. Well I also felt pains in my knee. So instead of running the entire 3.2 miles I decided to walk run. In the end it was actually fine - but while doing it I was a little disappointed. Danskin is great because there are so many supporters on the way. Cheerleaders who are yelling "go for it" from their back porch. It was just what I needed. In fact I heard Destiny's Child Im a survivor , on my way and that was what I used in my head to keep me going.
So when I realize I am about 1/2 mile from the end, I start getting super excited and very emotional. It is all coming together now -- all the training, the visualization of actually crossing the finish line and my waiting family. I got on my cell phone to cal my husband, just to make sure he was at the finisth line. He cracked up that I called:)
When you come close to the finsih line, there are all these spectators lined up waiting for you. It is so great! I ran through a narrow entry to the wide finish line area. And there they were.. my family (My hubby, kids and neices) - with signs and smiles. When I crossed the finish line, my name was announced and the official put a medal around my neck. Well I just lost it and started crying. I could not believe that I had just completed a triathlon. I was officially a triathlete.