- Ate: 947 calories (2 protein shakes, Turkey and broccoli)
- Burned: 112 calories
- Net consumed 835
I'm feeling great about resisting 2 opportunities to have cookies. (yay!!)
Also I worked out using the Biggest Loser on Kinect for Xbox . It was actually a pretty good workout. Much harder than I expected. Burned 112 calories.
The hardest thing for me to do is accept that my body doesn't do things the way I think it should. For example, in my fitter days, I could do lunges and go all the way to the ground. Well today, not so much. I'll get there again.
So something clicked. I'm not sure exactly what it was, but there definitely was a click. I'm sure that thin people look at fat people and wonder how or why did they let themselves get fat. Well fat people wonder too. I sure did. However , while I wondered , I wasn't concerned enough to make a change. Eating something bad for me (like a cookie or piece of cake) was almost like having an out of body experience. It was me but in my head I wasn't really present. I knew it was a poor choice but I distanced myself from the choice and the present. This is beyond denial...it is lying to myself. I also think I seek food at a pleasurable experience because sometimes with all of the demands of my life, I don't have many pleasurable experiences. Of course I love my family and I'm grateful to have a good job but I don't feel like I experience pleasure every day. Food sometimes fills that void.
So what clicked? Well I just made the decision that I'm tired of living and looking this way. I'm tired of the embarrassment of seeing someone from my fitter days and knowing that they are thinking ""OMG what happened to her"" . Losing weight takes a mental readiness that I don't think I had this last year. I think I'm finally feeling happy enough with myself to care about my health.